Jewell Needs Glasses

About 3 weeks ago we started noticing that Jewell's left eye kept turning in when she focused on things. Both far and near actually. She eventually started closing that eye when she read books with us. Then I noticed the right eye ended up looking crossed too! I decided to mention this to Jewell's pediatrician when I went in for Jefferson's well check. She noticed it too. I was so impressed with her pediatrician again. She made a personal phone call to the ophthalmologist to get her in this week. Last time I had to take Jefferson in it took me over 2 months to get an appointment.

Today we saw Dr. Shultz. They noticed the right eye had weaker vision than the left. She got all the pictures correct on the left eye and some on the right eye. When they tested them together, she got one correct. They told me she has something called Accommodative Esotropia. It's complicated. But this is the explanation from the pamphlet they gave me. "Accommodative esotropia is a common form of esotropia that occurs in children usually 2 years or older. In this type of strabismus, when the child focuses the eyes to see clearly, the eyes turn inward. This crossing may occur when focusing at a distance, up close or both. Glasses reduce the focusing effort and often straighten the eyes. Sometimes bifocals are needed for close work. If significant crossing of the eyes persists with the glasses, surgery may be required."

Basically, needs glasses to correct the crossing so she can see properly. We are starting with standard lenses, but he believes she will need bifocals. He said they always have to start with the standard lenses to see if it corrects her long distance vision, but he will probably need to put her in bifocals after she gets used to the glasses. Most of the time, the glasses will correct the long distance vision, but not the up close. He said with her type of farsightedness (it's no the typical farsightedness like an adult) he has to test with standard lenses first. So, we will see how it goes :). The doctor said she more than likely won't want to take the glasses off once she gets them because they will help her focus so much better. Our little Jewell is going to look so cute!

Valentine's Day 2013

Valentine's Day is so much fun!!! Looking back, I probably should have enjoyed it with my students more. Kids just love it!!!

This morning was a bit crazy. I went to the gym, rushed home to get ready for the day, and make heart shaped biscuits for my kids as a surprise. It was a blast surprising them with their heart biscuits. It's hands down Jewell's FAVORITE shape. She was thrilled to see she got to eat biscuit hearts. I also had little chocolate hearts for them on their plates. They couldn't wait to open them.

 

This afternoon after Bible Study, we headed to visit Ezekiel. It was the first time the kids had been to the cemetery to visit. I must say, they did a pretty good job behaving. They liked decorating his marker with the flowers and balloons too.

 

We had a hard time getting them to smile! :)

God has truly blessed me with the precious gift of 3 beautiful children.

 Happy Valentine's Day to all of our friends and family!

Jefferson Turns 2!

I can't believe I'm writing this post. My baby boy Jeffers is turning into a real big boy! He turned 2 on February 1st. :)

We celebrated on the 1st at Red Robin. My brother gave us a gift card to Red Robin for Christmas so it was just perfect for a family night out. We love Red Robin for family dinners out. Everyone else that's there also has a screaming kid! Jefferson loved going out for dinner. He earned a ball with Daddy, ate lots of fries, and enjoyed some free birthday ice cream.

My friend Bethany told me about an amazing sale after Christmas at Rite Aid. All toys were 75% off! We were able to purchase a small expensive train table/set, brick blocks, and a car for under 30 dollars. I mean seriously, I was amazed at how God provided all those little gifts for our sweet boy! I really wanted to get him a train table, but I was concerned about the size being too big, and just how expensive it would be. We are so blessed.

I also made Jefferson a baseball cake. He's very into balls. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of him eating his cake. We taped it instead :). But he absolutely LOVED it. I'm so thankful.

Jefferson is such a joy to raise. He's a typical 2 year old boy that gets into a ton of mischief. But he loves life, adores his sister, and enjoys being my little chef helper. He is a great little brother for Jewell too. I don't know what he'd do without her. I am so blessed to have been given the privilege of raising him for 2 years. We are so blessed.

No Fear Is Needed

I'll never forget the day my doctor couldn't get a heartbeat. He told me he was just making me nervous, so we'll do an ultrasound. And I'll never forget looking at my baby still lying face down on the ultrasound machine, no movement, just nothing. He was just... gone.

I have to admit, I'm tired. It's been a hard road to walk since seeing that ultrasound. It's been hard since I gave birth to my still baby. We chose a private funeral. It was just between the 2 of us and Pastor. He read Psalm 139 to us. It was amazing. I had heard the passage all of my life. But for the first time in my life, I clung to it. It talks about how God formed us in our mother's womb. It talks about how He knew how long we'd be here on this earth. That passage was my greatest comfort.

I have lived a life full of fear. Fear of the unknown that may come. I've been afraid of dogs, noises, the outdoors, people, strangers, running alone, shopping after dark, the dark -- period. I constantly look around trying to figure out if I'm still safe from harms way. It's not easy constantly being afraid. For some reason, I thought for sure I could prevent all harm from happening to me by just being extra careful with everything that I do. But when I lost my son, I realized I'm not in control of any of that.

God has a plan for all of our lives. He formed us all in our mother's womb, perfectly, the way HE wanted us to be formed. That doesn't mean we won't have hardships or things physically "wrong" with us. But we were all made according to His plan. And our Almighty God also has the perfect plan for our days. He has a plan for our time here. He knows when He wants to take us Home to Him. Wow! How amazing!!! I've lived my life in fear, when I didn't need to fear at all. Because God has the greatest plan possible for my life. He is in control! He is God over all. And I can rest now because I am God's child.

No fear or worry is needed. Because He is in control of all. We have an amazing God. A God who I can trust fully with my life.