You see, when Jewell was just 13 weeks old, I had to go back to work. And the worst part, was our principal told us we had to be to work much earlier that year. So I had to leave my baby girl before she even woke up in the morning. I only got to see her for 3 hours each day. So every morning I would get up, do a cleaning job such as dusting or folding laundry, get ready for the day, get all the bottles ready (while crying typically), and take out my daughters little outfit that I couldn't even dress her in. I would then blow her a kiss from her crib, and leave to go to work. I hated it. I hated every single second of it. I didn't understand why I had to leave my own baby to go teach other peoples babies. That was my attitude every single morning, until I got in the car. When I got in the car, I would sip my coffee and listen to the song, "How Deep the Father's Love For Us."
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
I loved this song. It made me think about what Christ did for me. What my sin did to my Father. And it got my attitude off of myself. That song gave me a purpose for what I was doing. It was a huge comfort to me. How could I complain and become bitter about how MY GOD who died for me chose to help provide for me? I will never forget those sweet moments with Christ on the way to work. I cried pretty much every morning to work. Especially after I went to church the day before and I had tons of women telling me how important it was for me to stay home. I promised myself I would never do that to another Mom. I can honestly look back now and see how Christ comforted me through it all. I know that the best thing I could have done at that time was work outside of our home. And I'm so glad God brought this song to my attention the first day I went back to work.
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
Jewell on one of the mornings she woke up early. I took the picture before I left for work :) |
Great testimony, Amy! The Lord knows exactly what each one of us needs in order to mold us to be more like Him. Really cute pic of Jewell, too--I love it! Thanks for sharing.
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