He'd Be 1

It's 3/3/14. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how I'm really a mother of 4. You see it was just 1 year ago when I was due with our son that I lost. It was the best due date ever in my opinion, 3/3/13. I miss my son. I often wonder if he'd be walking by now. If he'd be chubby like Jeffers was, or if he'd be between Jewell and Jeffers like Evan is. He is my son that God chose to be born into Heaven. I miss him. I will always miss him. And I'm so glad God chose for me to carry him even if it was for only 25 weeks.

I miss my son. I wish I could have held him longer. I still hurt. But God had a reason, a plan I'll never understand, but I'm so glad God is in control of my suffering. I love this song. One of my closest friends came to visit me last month and introduced it to me. I've been listening to it for several weeks as I've thought about how Ezekiel would be 1 had he lived. God had a reason. And that's all I ever need to know.