Refrigerator Art

Uncle Jason and Aunt Bethany have been asking for some refrigerator art for some time now. So on Saturday we decided to make them a few Valentine's Day items. Our kids love to paint. It's one of their favorite activities. But it takes quite a bit of patience sometimes, so I was glad Matt was able to help us. Jewell loved learning how to cut out a heart. And Jefferson enjoyed trying to eat the paint :). We had a fun time getting messy with paint!

 

Ezekiel's Grave

Soon after we lost Ezekiel, I started reading the book, Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. I still haven't finished it yet because I'm reading quite a few books. It's a really good book, but I needed to read some shorter books that were geared toward my specific loss. So far, the main thing that I've learned from his book is that God does things for His glory and our good.

This morning, I sang with our worship team, "Glory to God Forever." The bridge says, "Take my life and let it be, all for you and for Your glory, take my life and let it be Yours." I couldn't help but think about Ezekiel and what I've learned about his going to Heaven. But I also couldn't help but think about how Ezekiel's life was completely for God's glory. How amazing. I have to consciously think on giving God glory for everything in my life, but my son only gets to give God glory because he has only ever known God.

After the service today, I had the privilege of visiting Ezekiel's grave. They had placed his stone this week, and I wanted to go see it. I would have been 35 weeks pregnant today. It hurts. But even though it hurts I know it was best for my son to see God in glory. God took my son home for His glory and my good. Ezekiel has won, he never has to choose between Christ or sin. He only gets to give God glory. And I hope that I can use my life for God's glory more and more each day.

First Haircut Saturday

I woke up this morning and decided it was time to get Jewell's hair cut. I had put it off long enough. So we called Cost Cutters and made an appointment. While we were taking the before pictures of her hair, I decided we should just get Jefferson's done at the same time. I do plan to cut Jefferson's hair myself from now on though.

I was really nervous about Jewell getting her hair cut since she has such a sensitive scalp. I thought it would be best to go ahead and brush it really well before we left. I'm so glad I did because she cried the entire time I brushed the tangles out of it. I must say, Jewell really impressed me at the hair salon. She did a great job! She never cried or complained. She loved getting her hair cut.

Jefferson did not like getting his hair cut. He refused to sit in the chair by himself or with me. So, he got passed on to Daddy. I am so glad we got his hair cut now. He had curls that would stick out randomly that were getting quite long. The right side was longer than the left side too :). 

Before

Before--you can sort of see the curl sticking out the right side.

Before

Before

Before

She took sitting up very seriously.

He really wasn't so sure about the clippers.

I think her new cut looks beautiful!

I actually just now realized that we never got an after picture of Jefferson. It looks really good though :). It's nice and short and even! He still has some thinner spots in his hair because of his cradle cap. I think this cut will help those thicken up.

Overall, it was a great experience. I was very pleased with both cuts. Both kids were given First Haircut Certificates with envelopes holding their first locks. It was so sweet.

Friday Fun

I've been feeling a bit bad about not doing as many hands on activities with the kids recently. They have been learning to play better on their own though and to use their imaginations. But since that's what they have been doing ALL week, I decided it was time to have some fun with Mommy today :).

We played with shaving cream and food coloring today for sensory play. Jewell LOVED it. Jefferson wasn't quite as sure though. He did have fun, but he was very ready to get that stuff off of his hands! It was neat to see the differences in their ages/development.

Jewell had fun pressing the paper on the colored shaving cream.

We also attempted to do some experimenting with ice and salt. It didn't work. But the kids had a blast playing with the ice :).

Yes, I realize my kids aren't wearing anything. I think I may need to give Jewell something to wear now during our fun sensory play though... She's growing up too fast! Maybe I can find a fun apron that's easy to wipe clean.

Blessed

It's December 30th. We only have 1 last day of 2012. I have listed a few goals as a wife and mommy for 2013. I mean, this is what we all do right? But I can't help but look back at this year as I think about 2013. If I could sum up this year in one would be, "blessed." I was so blessed.

The first week I started singing in church with our worship team after we lost Ezekiel. We sang the song, "Blessed Be Your Name." We started singing it with the bridge: "You give and take away, You give and take away, My heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be Your name." I sort of balled when first started singing it. I thought I was prepared after we had practiced (twice) before the worship service...but I wasn't. It hit me hard. God had chosen to take away Ezekiel. But I must choose to sing, "Lord, blessed be Your name." It isn't easy to grieve. Every time I meet someone new I want to tell them, "I have a baby in Heaven." I want them to know that the 2 kids they see aren't my only children. It hurts. Reality hurts. There is no escaping the hurt. But it says in Job, "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away: blessed be the name of the Lord." It doesn't say anything about not giving God the glory in all that He does. We're supposed to rejoice in what God has done in our lives. Even in the hardest circumstances. That worship service was good for me. It reminded me that in everything, I must CHOOSE to glorify God.

This afternoon I went on my first run since losing Ezekiel. I knew it would be sort of emotional to go out and run, not pregnant. I always listen to music when I run. Today, I chose my regular worship running music. I smiled and cried when I heard what the first song was, "Blessed Be Your Name." I truly believe God wanted that song to be the first song I listened to today. It made me think about all the things the Lord has blessed me with this year. Both the easy and the difficult things. Things weren't always easy, but I can look back and think, Blessed be Your Name. How refreshing. How do people get through each year without Him?

This year is hard to look back at at times. But I'm beginning to appreciate all of this year. Yes, I had to bury my son. I never got to meet him. But I am so so blessed. And I can't wait to see what 2013 brings. No matter what happens, I hope I remember that I must choose to say, Blessed Be Your Name.

Christmas Cookies and Moving On

This is a hard post for me to write. I've been attempting to write it for 2 weeks. It's hard because once it's posted, Ezekiel's story is covered up. It means we're moving on with life. Life without my precious third child. But life has to go on here. We have to move forward, no matter how much it hurts. God is good. Ezekiel's life is so good now. I know that he would want me to keep living life to its fullest with his brother and sister that are still here with us. So here goes.

It's Christmas, which means it's time to make Christmas cookies. I am afraid I have a confession. I don't like sugar cookies. Last year we made sugar cookies and well, I just didn't like them. So this year we made peanut butter cutout cookies. They were much much better. The kids loved them and they were super easy to make. Here are our pictures from our fun night together as a family.

I think it was good for our family to focus on being together and just enjoying life that evening. Jewell is definitely aware that the baby is with Jesus in Heaven. She loves talking about Jesus and Heaven. So even though we never got to play with Ezekiel, he's very special to Jewell. She loves knowing that her little brother is in Heaven with Jesus. What an honor! I am truly blessed.